Basic Persuasion Skills

Digital Marketing - Study Notes:

Being persuasive is a valuable asset. You may have heard the phrase "People buy people". You might think it sounds like a cliché, but it is also very accurate. After all, if people like and trust you, they will listen to you, follow your advice, and accept your explanations.

You can enhance your persuasive skills by understanding and harnessing your own personal power and skill set. Remember, for example, you have accumulated a great amount of knowledge of your role and sector. You hold opinions gained through your experience. Do not put yourself down by forgetting this!

When trying to persuade people, remember that, basically, there are three human behaviors: aggressive, passive, and assertive. Let’s consider each one in turn.

Aggressive people aim to satisfy their own needs, never those of others. Passive people, on the other hand, meet other people's needs, but rarely their own. And finally, assertive people feel good about themselves and help others to feel good too.

We can dig into these a bit more by thinking about examples of these behaviors in action. Let’s look at passive people first. Passive people are usually afraid to speak up and, instead, agree with others, despite their own feelings. They often speak softly, slouch, and withdraw. They might even isolate themselves from groups.

What about aggressive people? They tend to interrupt and 'talk over' others, speaking loudly. They usually stand rigidly, crossing their arms and invading others' personal space. They often try to control groups. Also, they consider their own feelings ahead of other people’s feelings.

Finally, let’s look at assertive people. They usually speak openly and use a conversational tone. They tend to relax and adopt an open posture and expressions. They like to participate in groups and keep to the point. They are good at seeing the other person’s point of view.

Generally, we prefer to deal with assertive people. The assertive personality is the best one for persuasion. By practicing assertiveness skills, you can learn how to discuss, argue, and negotiate. You will then find that your persuasion skills are vastly improved too!

So, how can you actually be persuasive in your day-to-day interactions? First, be assertive from the outset. Clearly define and state your needs or expectations, by using ‘I’ statements instead of ‘you’ statements. When you have to, say ‘no’ respectfully and always give a reason for doing so.

Next, consider the actual language you use. For example, you could say “This might be a good way of proceeding, let me explain why” instead of “You should do this.” Don’t forget non-verbal language too. Ensure your facial expressions and body language match your message. Otherwise, people will question your honesty!

Speaking of honesty, be honest about potential barriers to you persuading someone. Your recipients may have differences in perception or just poor listening skills. They may have a tendency to jump to conclusions or use stereotypes. Also consider their level of knowledge, possible lack of interest, lack of confidence, or difficulties with self-expression.

Make sure you take into account the whole situation. Are emotions running high? Are powerful personalities clashing? Perhaps there are time constraints, or language and cultural differences.

If you want to succeed at effective persuasion, keep all parties well-informed and be truthful, even when the news is bad. 

A simple persuasion tool in getting faster buy-in is not to ask people what it is that they should be doing. Asking this can lead to varying answers at varying levels of understanding, and also possible confusion. 

It is better to pose your own specific questions, so as to gain your own specific answers. Ideally, propose a selection of ideas yourself and then have people or stakeholders choose from your selection.

Let’s consider some examples. Suppose you notice another person and compliment them on their clothing, ability, skill, or something else. You are making the effort and it is usually well received. That’s all good!

But have you considered how you should react when you receive a compliment? Actually, most people get this wrong. When complimented, most recipients tend to refute the compliment. For example, someone might say to you, “I love your coat! It is a lovely color and it really suits you.” And you might reply, “Oh, this old thing? I found it at the back of the wardrobe. And it’s not really that nice of a color.”

Now, what’s gone wrong here? When someone offers you a compliment, they are sharing a personal belief with you. They are telling you what they think. And if you brush off the compliment, you ruin the sentiment, by telling them that they are wrong. This response can cause a communications disconnect. It makes the exchange uncomfortable, and could even be seen as being rude. It is far better to say a simple ‘thank you’ and accept the compliment.

Consider Oscar recipients. They never say, “Thank you, but you shouldn’t have.” Instead they say, “Thank you for believing in me and my work with this award.” This assertive response persuades the 7,000 members of The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences to feel happy that they made the correct decision!